ROSETTA DOUGLASS SPRAGUE TO FREDERICK DOUGLASS

Rochester[, N.Y.] 10 March 1869.

MY DEAR FATHER

It has been sometime since you have heard from home. I endeavored to
get a letter to you before you reached Minn. but it failed to reach you and
was returned to me. My last letter from you was dated from Monticello.¹Douglass lectured in St. Paul on 11 March 1869 and Minneapolis on 13 March 1869. Monticello, Minnesota, was a small farming community located thirty-five miles northwest of Minneapolis. Seltzer, , 1238. I
am sorry to think you believe Nathan²Nathan Sprague. is offended he was hurt supposing
you alluded to him as well as the rest for he has been very sensitive all
winter because he has laid idle so long and had more than once said to me
he believed father thought he could get work. I told him that you know

the difficulty of getting employment in the winter and when your letter
came he felt confirmed in his earlier impressions. I know Nathan’s desire
to receive or be worthy to receive your approbation and has been willing
to take the taunts of the rest of the family so long as he could be worthy of
your approval. I do not know that Nathan has ever been seriously offended
with me since our marriage only as he has [be]en conscious of the feeling
of the family towards him excepting yourself. I do not consider his harshness towards me just but thanks to your good advice I am able to bury
it in the past as I know that our happiness mainly depends on me. You
say to me Husbands first and fathers second. I know it but I cannot help
it my affection for you is of the warmest kind and your words whether
of censure or praise remain with me always and affect me accordingly.
Nathan knows it and has listened to me so that I have remained in and
around home all this time making it appear that we were hangers on for a
purpose. I see now that Nathan feels himself in a sort of tight jacket and is
uncomfortable because he knows however much you may be satisfied he
is the subject for all kinds of unkind remarks from the rest—he thought
it best to float free but in so doing has perfect respect and appreciation of
yourself and your kindness.

You say you are a lonely man no one knows it better than myself and
the causes. I have felt it for years for I have been in a measure lonely myself but would not allow myself to analyze my feelings as I was the daughter and had duties to fulfill in that relation. I know where my sympathies
were[.] I do not know whether you ever thought much about it having so
many things to occupy your mind, but my position at home was any thing
but pleasant. You used often to say that we were all glad when you left,
something that was so far from what was true as far as I was concerned. I
never dared to show much zeal about anything where you were concerned
as I could never bare ridicule and as jealousy was <is> one of the leading
traits in our family I could very readily bring a storm about my ears if I
endorsed any of your sentiments about means pertaining to the household.
I do not wish to pain you but I must say I have no pleasant remembrances
of my brothers. I had my faults no doubt but none so great that their feelings of dislike should follow me to this day.

ALf: General Correspondence File, reel 2, frames 438–40, FD Papers, DLC.