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Francis Barry to Frederick Douglass, May 4, 1853

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Letter from Francis Barry.

BROTHER DOUGLASS:—I am glad to see the subject of marriage referred to in your paper. A subject of more thrilling significance and interest never presented itself to the attention of mortals. Melancholy, soul-chilling are the reflections that force themselves upon us, as we look about and witness the universal prevalence of narrow, sensual views of this sacred, heavenly relation. No more exalted ideas seem to enter the minds of the sensual mass, than are begotten by cold, mercenary calculation, or soul-withering prejudice. A forcible illustration of the truth of this statement is to be seen in the base, malignant, infernal persecution that has recently met Wm. G. Allen and Mary King. Whether there is a similarity, a one- ness of sentiment, feeling and purpose existing between these two individuals—a con- geniality necessary to make them happy and loving life-mates, I know not; neither is it any especial business of mine, only as I am interested to know whether any of my brothers and sisters are happy and blest. A man and woman have no right to join in this most intimate and important of all relations, unless they are filled for each other; but

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they must be themselves the sole judges in the case, and if they are in the wrong, they and their children must bear the curse. It is certain that a marked dissimilarity in the mental organization of two individuals unfits them for congenial and happy companionship. It is true, also, that a marked phy- sical dissimilarity (whether for form, size, features or complexion) is unfavorable; and it is highly probable, to say the least, that the one will accompany the other. Be this as it may, where there is a mutual attraction and affinity, all else will be sure to harmonize. This is the test—the only point—all else is foreign, intrusive. The point I insist upon is this: that bystanders have nothing to do in the case. True, all have an undoubted right to lay down general principles, and defend them according to ability, as they have a right to express an opinion, in a proper manner, on any subject.

Well do I remember (for I was deeply interested in the matter) when I found her whose heart and happiness, and hopes and destinies, and mine, are one—how self-appointed counsellors and dictators sought to intimidate us into a sacrifice of principle and self-respect, by submitting to an unmeaning ceremonial mockery. Poor fools! They thought they were meddling with their own business, and that forms and mummeries would add strength to the law of the eternal God, whose decree had bound our souls indissolubly in one.

Had a man a shade darker than Wm. G.

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Allen, but not belonging to an "inferior race," proffered his heart to Mary King, there would have been no cause for alarm! The shameful and disgusting prejudice of which Wm. G. Allen is a victim, is as brainless as it is heartless. My counsel to him, is, to pity the subjects of it for their folly and stupidity and scorn, and defy them for their meanness and insolence.

FRANCIS BARRY.

BERLIN, May 4th, 1853.

Creator

Barry, Francis

Date

1853-05-04

Description

Francis Barry to Frederick Douglass. PLSr: Frederick DouglassP, 13 May 1853. Supports the marriage of William G. Allen and Mary E. King.

Publisher

This document was calendared in the published volume and has not been published in full before.

Collection

Frederick Douglass' Paper

Type

Letters

Publication Status

Unpublished

Source

Frederick Douglass' Paper